hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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