You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
wakey wakey hands off snakey
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
