He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
