the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We just shotgunned beers for America
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
