1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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