It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
