hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
