return my video game
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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