Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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