Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
