You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She told me I should be a condom model.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
