when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
