My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
