I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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