Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
