Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
