I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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