My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
