On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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