end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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