Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I will be naked everywhere
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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