I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
