it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
