After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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