i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
