Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
