3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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