Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
