i permit you to call me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
