I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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