I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
