Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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