do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
