you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Randomize
