after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
