i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
