For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
