I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My ass is underappreciated
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
