whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
