I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
