Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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