when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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