ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
