I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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