That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
