Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
