i permit you to call me
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
