Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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