Porn is love you can see.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
