ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
