I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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