I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
